I recently was in a situation which required me to introduce myself so it would determine if I am suitable enough to become a member of a team. There you go again - I was anxious, a bit scattered since I have always felt quite uncomfortable to speak about my self much less about my achievements. Strangely, the older I get, the more confused I become... Who am I? What do I want people to know about me? How to say it, so that they will get the proper picture of me? Does the first impression stay forever?... All the wrong questions... For so long, I have been consciously trying to disentangle my sense of I from things, labels, opinions, expectations, social roles, race, profession, past times... 
Since the team will function in one of the most creative and artistic environments in the city, everyone, bursting with enthusiasm to share, began his or her introduction (re-telling his or her resumé) with something related to Arts: "I am an artist, a photographer, a student of Visual Arts, a writer, a CEO of ..., a manager of..." Believe me, one can easily get lost oneself in the identifications and the stories of others. Then, one young woman beside me quietly began "I am not an artist, nor a teacher...I love my garden... and I am currently enjoying my tomatoes..." 
I took a deep filling breath...

Do I really know who I am?
I don't know who I am anymore.
I might have a master's degree in..., and additional qualifications, and a tangible experience as..., but these are not me, these are my resumé... I don't know who I am...and I don't need to know, I don't need "a conceptual definition of my sense of self"!
I believe we are all a work in progress and every moment we are writing our next acts. I am not that self-confident, to some degree even the arrogant and ambitious young girl who just graduated from the University anymore – I was a teacher then, I am a teacher now, but I am not the same. I am slowly evolving... into a better version of myself, into a person I am meant to be (not a reflection of myself in the big brother's eyes). There are times when I lose myself, I lack self-esteem, I beat myself up for not being better, fearless and enough, for not achieving significant accomplishments in life, for losing along the way the stronger, the freer, the eager women I once was... But then, I always find the more self-aware, the more simple, humble, grateful and ego-less me. Despite the common belief and constant reminder of nowadays that "that is not how you get in life, you are in the jungle", this is how I want to get one with life. 
Am I real?
Am I present?
Am I authentic, natural, spontaneous and not concerned with how others define me?
How do I treat people? I am neither superior nor inferior to anyone. 
How well do I love, accept, let go?
Am I in peace in trusting my own path?
I am just what I am today, what I am at this very moment
I am unfinished work
I am a forever learner
As the days change, so do my moments
As the seasons change, so do I.


In "the fall of the leaf", I smell the impermanence, I savor the changes... I am not an artist, nor a teacher... I am interested in life... I love to bake (ha! this is new to me)... and I am currently enjoying life's generous abundance and the bounty of the harvest.








 Cauliflower and Broccoli Rustic Tart
( adapted from "The Vegetable Cookbook: From the Earth to the Table")
Ingredients: 

 pie dough
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
5 1/2 tbsp butter, soft
1 1/4 tsp paprika
1 tsp. dried thyme
pinch of salt
 3 tbsp water

filling
1 1/2 cups cauliflower flowers
1 cup of broccoli flowers
1 onion, cut into wedges
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/3 cup vegetable stock
1/2 cup milk
3/4 cup grated cheese
salt and pepper
paprika to garnish


Directions:  

 Preheat the oven to 375F. Sift the flour and salt into a bowl. Add paprika, thyme and rub in the butter. Stir in the water and form a dough. Let chill in the refrigerator for about 30 min.
Roll out the dough on a floured surface and use to line a loose-bottom tart pan. Prick the bottom with a fork and bake for about 20 minutes or a little before it is completely ready.
For the filling, bring a saucepan of lightly salted water to a boil, add the cauliflower, broccoli, onion and cook for 10-12 minutes until tender. Drain and reserve.
Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add the flour and cook, stirring carefully, for 1-2 min. Remove from the heat, stir in the vegetable stock and milk, and return to the heat. Bring to a boil, stirring, and add 1/2 cup of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper.
Spoon the cauliflower, broccoli, and onion into the pastry shell. Pour the sauce over the top and sprinkle with the remaining cheese. Return the tart to the oven and bake for an additional 10 minutes, until the cheese is golden, Garnish with paprika.



Enjoy!



Are you ready for Fall?



Sharing at Seasonal Sundays/ Our Sunday Best/ Be Inspired-Here Comes Fall